I have a love of my life. Her name is Hadley Tate and she is one and a half. Our relationship is so serious that we even have a song: Patty Griffin's "Heavenly Day." (Click on that link. You must listen to it if you've never heard it.) It is undoubtedly the best song ever made-- for me and her at least. Sparks fly when we listen to it.

Last summer I went to Charleston to stay with her while Lauren and Bobby went out of town. That weekend I was fortunate enough to catch just a small glimpse of what motherhood will be like. I was the one capable of soothing every cry. I was the one who she wanted to share every laugh with. I was the one who said love, love to have her kiss and hug me. It feels really good to be that needed and I can only imagine what it would be like to feel that with a child of my own. It feels great enough just being the aunt.

I wore my sister's robe which made me, a girl who looks and talks the same as Lauren, seem even more like her because I smelled like her. When I put her to sleep at night I swayed side to side and sang words from Patty Griffin's "heavenly day." Over and over again I repeated,

the smile of your face I live only to see.

it's enough for me baby, enough for me.

heavenly day, oh heavenly day.

got nothing to tell you,

I've got nothing much to say

only I'm glad to be here with you on this heavenly,

heavenly, heavenly, heavenly day.

At the time those were the only words I knew, but I felt like they embodied Hadley. I believe the words and melody of that song could soothe any being.

Another time, Hadley and I were at the beach house. I had my ipod with me and I played her "heavenly day" on the ear phones. She eagerly listened and had a huge smile on her face trying harder and harder to listen to the song. She just plopped down inbetween my indian-style legs and leaned her body weight into me.

A few months later over Thanksgiving break we listened to "heavenly day" again. It was a Sunday and I was watching Hadley upstairs while my Lauren and Bobby packed their car. My itunes was playing but I wasn't paying much attention to it. When "heavenly day" came on, Hadley came running around the corner with a smiling face and arms held high. She wanted to be held. I picked up Hadley and we swayed in my bathroom listening to "heavenly day" with her head resting heavy on my shoulder.

She won't be little like this for forever. In a few years I won't even be able to pick her up anymore. She'll like popular songs from the radio and probably won't appreciate Patty Griffin again until she's older. But for now I cherish each and every one of these special moments with Hadley because even though she will probably forget, the love I feel from her is magical to me.

Some songs are just more then songs for people, and this one is for me. I intend to learn how to play guitar and I want this to be the first song I learn to play. At my wedding, I want my first dance to be "heavenly day." By that time little Hadley will for sure be big and won't be the only one who has my heart. But I'll look at her and probably cry and know that she was my first love who shared this same love for this song. I want to continue the tradition and rock future Heuber babies, and Klug babies as well as my own children to bed singing "heavenly day" as their lullaby. I want this to be the song I listen to every morning and feel happy as the sunshine and also slow dance on my kitchen floors in the evenings with my husband until I'm old and gray. I want to live in heaven forever and still continue to feel alive when I hum this tune.