the forgotten one

since I moved here, everybody has always commented on how cute emile is. and it’s true- those baby blues, that curly hair and that smile are adorable. but unfortunately I always roll my eyes and describe him as a handful... or a devil child. just depends on the day.

all along, emile and I have butted heads. to explain where I am coming from- I never change emile’s diapers, he spends a lot of time with his mom when she is cooking and his parents take him to school. so in emile’s mind when I do have to do things for him, he screams until his parents come to take over because the noise is too annoying. he has a loud, overbearing personality that gives mine a challenge, and similar to all french children he’s wanted a ton of independence at too young an age. so anytime I say no, he gets super frustrated, bites/hits/scratches me and then his sisters normally always give him his way. so it's a disastrous cycle that leaves me annoyed with him and covered in scars. and while I’m sure he hates always hearing “do you need to go to the corner?” I equally hate having to be the one to say it.

don’t get me wrong, we’ve shared our sweet moments. most of them when he’s strapped to a stroller and falls asleep to me singing. but more so it’s when it’s only the two of us. it’s really easy to get him laughing uncontrollably which is the cutest thing and makes you just want to squeeze him up. but I’ve learned to be cautious with my overwhelming kisses because that annoys him. another vicious cycle.

this past year really has been such a pleasure watching him grow (from the "sidelines") and it’s amazing how smart and funny he is for being so young. he’s been teaching me french lately and since I can’t understand his baby-talk nor do I know always know what he’s saying so have to ask the others. and honestly, he’s so stinking adorable I’ve just been jealous and frustrated that he doesn’t love me! heck, at this point I’d be happy if he even liked me...

he turned two in may and the terrible two’s have been disguised in a pleasant little child who greets me with wide open arms and a huge grin every time I walk into the door. he talks about ‘stina when I’m not there and plans how the next time he sees me he’ll give me a kiss with his mom, though when I show up he gets bashful and hides between her legs. and he came and checked on me a lot this week when I was sick in bed. he’s obsessed with scooter (trottinette) and it says it similarly to the way he says my name so half the time I smile thinking he’s talking about/wanting me when really it’s just his scooter. wishful thinking.

today the girls were on field trips and so it was just emile and I for most of the day. he’s started saying ouais to everything which is the french version of oui, most commonly used by teenagers. it’s been hilarious to hear his cute little voice say that and I literally spent all day asking him as many questions as possible. we went for a really long walk, chatting the whole time and him asking for my hand when he was walking beside me (which is rare!) and tonight during his bath we were both dying laughing.

it’s been a good lesson for me-- sometimes you have to try the hardest with the stubborn one. and it’s discouraging and frustrating and the negligence makes you feel undeserving most of the time. and it’s definitely hard to keep giving when you are getting nothing in return. but eventually you come to a breaking point, meet in the middle and you realize you might appreciate their love most of all. he’s my sweet little one who loves to spend hours walking to find different flowers just to smell and appreciate their beauty. and can be wildly pleased passing the day listening to the beautiful sound of singing birds sitting on a park bench. and let’s be honest, that’s all I ever want to do these days, so it sounds like we’re soul mates.