confession: I am not that girl.

for starters I can’t even stretch my legs out that straight-- I’m that inflexible. but really what I meant is that I am not the girl comfortable behind a camera. I don’t like making people pose for pictures. I don’t like always carrying around a camera. I don’t like the acknowledgement of being a person behind the machine. but I want to love it all. I’m taking a photojournalism class this semester that has me equal parts squealing with delight and shaky knees. we’re still learning technical stuff right now and have just been taking notes but that doesn’t change the fact that I leave the room with a stomach full of nerves as we countdown the days till we are given a really nice camera. and then, its on. I’ve been really anxious about not seeing things enough. living my life walking around without noticing those standout opportunities for photographs. to be quite frank, I feel I just don’t have the mind of a photographer. but isn’t that why we take classes? to learn and grow and become something we desire. my fear was settled a bit today as I walked out of class and saw a group of workers in front of the journalism building redesigning a walkway. they were digging in the grass and putting in bricks. one must’ve hit a water pipe and suddenly there was water shooting 30 feet in the air and seven frantic men running around trying to stop it. it didn’t last long. maybe only 20 seconds. but I was the only one around and the only one who saw it. I could only laugh and wish we’d been assigned cameras today so I would have my first story to capture. hope I didn’t miss my one and only opportunity. at this point I’m pretty much preparing myself for failure...

image via plumnellie