what is it about going to a movie theatre to watch a film that could potentially be deemed indie that makes you happy, and then sad, but more so reflective. one part fulfilled, the other part lacking.

why is it that books and movies spur these endless hours of thought sometimes more than our regular lives? why is it so easy to quickly adhere to the allure of a character and their interactions with others and yet the biggest struggle in my days lately seem to revolve around having no more black outfits to wear and the fact that my money is depleting at an awkwardly fast rate. my world is seemingly inadequate.

I hate the thought of being too busy to exist and know that I do live an extremely happy and full life but sometimes you wonder, am I really? what more could I be doing for myself, and more so for others. and then there is always the endless thoughts of my life five years from now. my mind goes here and there and back again. the thought of graduating next year makes tears roll down my face.

but for now I have tonight. I have amos lee, ray lamontagne and quotes from f. scott fitzgerald that are so beautiful I have chills. I have the chrysler building outside the open window. I have a city that has welcomed me with open arms and a couch that will give me rest.

I have a thankful heart and I feel full. stuffed even. could be all that frozen yogurt, but I don’t think so.